(;

It's mind-boggling the amount of smashing fun I have

within such a short brief time.

I can't be more thankful and grateful for people that made

it a such wonderful experience.

Late night escapades,

crazy mamak table talk,

cozy sleepovers,

trip down south to Singapore,

shopping sessions with girlfriends,

catching up over coffee,

and many more.

There's so many hilarious incidents and too many stories to told.

All in all, it was good company that made it so much more enjoyable.

I yearn cling on to every single moment of it and not let go. The wicked blast we had will be amazing memories that I'd be bringing with along with me.

I'm a very very blessed child. ;)

Say A Little Prayer.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can't change,

the courage to change the thing that I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Tolerance.

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation

with the bricks others have thrown at him."

-David Brinkley

"Success is to be measured not so much

by the position that one has reached in life

as by the obstacles which he has overcome."

-Booker T. Washington

"I'm a true believer of karma.

You get what you give,

whether it's good or bad."

-Sandra Bullock

"People pay for what they do, and still more,

for what they have allowed themselves to become.

And they pay for it simply: by the lives they lead."

-Edith Wharton

Anticipating your presence.

Realize now that when your heart breaks,

you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. 

Because technically, you are. 

And that pain you feel? 

That's life.

Veronica Mars.

Why bother with something not good,

just because it's something?

Especially when you know the difference,

which not many people do.

I mean do you?

I think I do. (;

Dissappointment.

I suggested to go out to mark the occasion.

I ended up in my room with broken tears.

I really dont need all these mixed emotions at times like this.

I guess I was the fool all along.

Grudges.

I've moved on, so please don't hold me back.

I had enough of this nonsense. ;(

Malaysia Day.

   I'm utterly shock that some people manage to remember my birthday despite I don't remotely recall telling them anything. Unexpected people that I haven't spoken for ages wished me regardless the on going exam fever, which put smiles towards my face.

   However, some people who I see on regular basis didnt. *cough* Rolls eye.

   Well, for all who have wish me. I truly grateful and blessed that you still manage to find time out of your hectic exam schedule to drop me your blessings. All the small gestures made my day. For that, I'm truly thankful. ;)

I'm off to Carat Club for my birthday treat with moral definisi in my hands. Toodles.

Solitary.

Have you ever been in a room with numerous people yet still feel so alone?

I have.

I just want someone to talk to yet there's no one.

   My dad has works gruelingly, and when he's home

   so he just wants time to rest.

   My mom would get too involved which only make matters worse.

   My sister is always in her room either on Youtube

   or finishing up her endless pile of homework.

   My friends have their own intricate issues to deal with

   that I can't bear to burden them with my own.

Sometimes when I get up the courage to tell someone,

all they do is just nod. 

I build this towering barriers around my heart so it wouldnt break so easily,

I guess I ended up locking myself in alone facing the four corners of concrete walls. ;(

Acceptance.

I simply refuse to grow up after knowing what

the real world out there is really like. ;(

Bright Roving Annoying Teens.

Brats Workshop.
24th-27th may '08
waaay long ago.


BRATS SENIORS
Moose, Diyana, Gan, Milky!


Camwhoring when we're suppose to be finishing our assignments.


Sandra, a very much mature 16 yr old.


Peace, yo.


Mind the blur look.


Vain pots, cut me out of the photo. >,<


Spot me!


Enough said. ;p


Some self defense activity.


Last day. ;'(

I remembered well on the very last night, we're so comfortable with each other that we unanimously sang on the top of our lungs. ( not to mention some off pitch singing ;p ) We played whacked-out games, ate hotel food practically evryday, and on the last day we got treated to some old fashion Penang food. Not to mention, we were praised by being the only Brats workshop who managed to finish all the assignments in the time given. Applause! ;D The next day we camwhored like crazy, trying hopefully to capture the moments our snapshots, unwilling to return back home. We left with awesome memories and aplenty of stories to tell.

Malaysia Boleh!

Hurrays for Lee Chong Wei!

I'm so blooding effing proud of him! *sniffles*

This also goes out to all the people who ever sneered, criticized, or looked down
upon Malaysian's sports.
Ha! Take that you buggers.

Yes, you.

The ones that kutuk babi gila how bad Malaysian sports are.

All you guys seem to do is express your disappointment
yet do nothing whatsoever to amend it.
If you're so bloody great and you'd think that you can play better,
by all means go ahead.
But noooo, you just sit on yr arse in yr lazy bum couch
and continues to yak away how shitty Malaysians sports are.
You really expect Malaysian to improve our sport miraculously
by your constant rants? -_-

Well, Lee Chong Wei actually did something
instead of just doing plain nothing.
He went against the gulfstream and proof to all the Malaysians citizens
who looked down upon Malaysian sports wrong.

He trained and train his arse off,
got himself qualified for olympics,
and look at where he is now.

All eyes are now on him,
All hopes are upon him,
for him to bring back the Malaysia's 1st Olympic gold medal.(fingers crossed >,<)



And maybe for once,
Malaysia to (finally!) able to raise the Jalur Gemilang in the Olympic events.

He's the living proof that if you will it, you can have it.

And when he's so close reaching to reaching gold,
you guys start becoming extremely patriotic
despite all the curse and complaints
that you once thrown towards Malaysian sports.

When Malaysia was stuck in a rut,
not an utter of support or encouragement.
Yet when Malaysia achieve sudden international stardom,
everyone wants a piece of it.

Such hypocrite. Pfft.

BADMINTON FINALS:
-Sunday, 17th Aug, 2008-
-6.30pm.-
-Beijing University of Technology Gymnasium-

It's all up to Lee Chong Wei to bring home the Malaysian glory.
I really do hope he does.

So for once Malaysians can shut the hell up,
stand united and be proud and patriotic that we are Malaysians,
instead of throwing negative remarks about how bad at we are at sports.

Even if he doesn't become champion,
nonetheless I'm equally proud for him as he persevered
and managed to beat so many other countries to his title.

GO LEE CHONG WEI! WE'RE ROOTING FOR YOU! ;)

Hearts & Co.

Quote Iris Simpkins:

Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting."
What an extraordinary thought.

Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that,
but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had.

I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should.
I am constantly amazed by its sheer power
to alter and define our lives.

It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind".
Now that is something I know to be true.

For some quite inexplicably, love fades;
for others love is simply lost.
But then of course love can also be found,
even if just for the night.

And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind.
The one that almost kills its victims.
Its called unrequited love.
Of that I am an expert.

Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other.
But what about the rest of us?
What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone?

We are the victims of the one sided affair.
We are the cursed of the loved ones.
We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded.
The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!

Yes, you are looking at one such individual.
And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years!
The absolute worst years of my life!
The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's
brought in by tears and valium.

These years that I have been in love
have been the darkest days of my life.
All because I've been cursed by being in love
with a man who does not and will not love me back.

Oh god, just the sight of him!
Heart pounding!
Throat thickening!
Absolutely can't swallow!
All the usual symptoms.

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible.
How it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you.

It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join,
or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends.
You still go to bed every night going over every detail
and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood.

How in the hell for that brief moment
you could think that you were that happy.
Sometimes, you can even convince yourself
that he'll see the light and show up at your door.

And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new.
And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again.
And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.

And all that fuzzy stuff,
those years of your life that you wasted,
that will eventually begin to fade.

-The Holiday-


For the people whom have found, lost or felt love.

F*** Friendships.

I can't believe you think I am that kind of person.
For so long u have known me, is that how you think I am?!
I'm beyond beyond shattered.

It's not that I'm not hurt enough when you decided to ignore me
for no reasons whatsoever.
You have the ability to say I pick pride over friendship.

You have to go and ask one of our friends to go settle things for you.
Somehow, you convince her that I'm too proud to go talk to you,
that I should have gone up to you first to talk to you.

Well, I'm sorry I didn't know I was suppose to go talk to you
when you were the one ignoring me in the first place.

You want to talk about pride?
You have to wait for me to tell how much you hurt me,
only then you came up to me to apologise.
You apologised and then went accusing me of replacing you.

So you think I wasn't hurt when you gave me the silent treatment
for no reason whatsoever?!
So you think I wasn't hurt when I trusted you so much
yet you accuse me of picking pride over friendship?!
So you think I wasn't hurt when you pulled that shallow stunt on messenger?!
So you think I wasn't hurt when you were the one I went to
for all my problems yet you just left me standing alone?!

I thought you were my friend.
I thought we had a silent understanding.
I thought, I thought, I guess I thought wrong. ;(


I'm sorry that you'd think I would pick pride over friends.
I'm sorry you think I should go talk to you first when you were the one who ignored me in thr first place.
I'm sorry for letting you in my circle of trust and yet you to accuse me of such things.

For the shit that I've done,
for the times I've been there for you when everyone was against you,
ignoring the bad things they say about you,
yet you think I'm that kind of person.
<Thank you for being such a good friend.


I deserve much better than this.

Animal Cruelty.

What the f**k was he thinking?
An animal dying is not art!

What's next, humans?

Please sign the petition to boycott this heartless piece of ass
whom call himself *cough* an artist .
http://www.petitiononline.com/ea6gk/petition.html

To KY,

ME, KY.

Hang on girl.
I know you can be an independent woman.
Do know we are they for you every step of the way.
Be strong.
Time heal all wounds.
I know it's tough. But heck, you'll pull thru this. One step at a time.
I just know u will. ;)

Bananas Overload,
Amanda.

Partners In Crime.

Wicked friends who put smiles on my faces everytime, anytime. <3

We'd be the loudest bunch in the room. Lol.

Even it's only been less then a year being close with you guys,
you guys manage to accept me intruding in your extremely tight bond.

May we our friendship last for the years to come.

If You Could See Me Now

by Cecelia Ahern.

She began to sob, quiet whimpers at first
that soon exited her mouth as pain-filled wails
that worked their way from the depths of her heart.

She could hear her own hurt.

Each tear was a call for help that has never been answered before
and she didn't expect to be answered now.

This made her cry even more.

***

They all leave eventually isn't that right?
The sentence repeat itself like a broken record.

It kept on her like a finger prodding her chest.
Harder and harder,
first grazing the skin,
prodding and prodding
until eventually it tore right through and reached her heart.

The place where it hurt most.

They all leave eventually isn't that right?
Her mind exploded. YES! , it shouted.

yes, they all eventually leave.
Every single one of them,
every single time.

Every person that ever succeeded in
brightening her day and cheering her heart
disappeared as quickly as the cat in the night.

As though happiness were some kind of weekend treat,
like ice cream.

Taken away the light and warmth,
and replaced it with a chill and dark.

***
She sat there rocking and crying,
shivering in the breeze,
she wondered why it was that she allowed one sentence to that
had passed the lips of a girl
who had never received enough kisses of love,
never felt warm embraces,
and never herself allowed words of love
to drift over her own lips
to be the one whose thump and kick sent her falling to the ground.

***

She was tired of hugging pillows,
counting on blankets for warmth,
and relieving romantic moments only in her dreams.

She was tired of hoping that every day would hurry
so she could get on to the next.

Hoping that it would be a better day, an easier day.
But it never was.

Each morning the weight on her shoulders
got heavier and heavier.

Each morning she wished for night to fall quickly
so she could return to her bed to hug her pillows
and wrap herself in the warmth of the blankets.

***

Time

changes so quickly.

Just when you get used to something,
Zap!
It changes.

Just when you begin to understand someone,
Zap!
They grow up.

Our days are measured in hours,
our pay measured by those hours,
our knowledge is measured by years.

Our life is made up of time.

We spend our school life either slacking all day,
rambling on nonsensical gossips and silly adolescent puppy loves,
or burying our heads in moutain-like piles of books,
just to score well for our upcoming exams.

While working,
we grab a few minutes in our busy day to have a coffee break,
we rush back to our desks,
we watch the clock,
we live by appointments.

Everything is spinning around us
- school, jobs, family, friends, lovers...
you just feel like screaming 'STOP!',
look around, rearranging the order of a few things
and then continuing on.

Yet time eventually runs out and you can't help but wonder
if those seconds, minutes, hours, days,
weeks, months, years and decades
were being spent the best way they possibly could.

When Rainbow Ends by Cecelia Ahern

QUOTE:

"He's the luckiest man in the world to have you,
but he doesn't deserve you and you deserve far better.

You deserve someone who loves you
with every single beat of his heart,
someone who thinks about you constantly,
someone who spends every minute of the day
just wondering what you're doing, where you are,
who you're with and if you're OK.

You need someone who can help you reach your dreams
and who can protect you from your fears.
You need someone who will treat you with respect,
love every part of you,
especially your flaws.

You should be with someone be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing -on-air happy.

Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try."

Wow, is there really such a thing out there anymore?

Trust.

It's hard.

What happens when the people that matters most in your life let you fall flat solid on the ground?
What happens when they were not there when you needed them the most?
What happens when you trusted them so much only to be let down?

No one to depend on.
No one to trust.
No one to say 'It's Alright'.
No one to lend a shoulder to cry on.

In these moments, you really doubt whether there's people out there
who truly appreciate your existance,
who are happy with who you are,
who you really could actually trust.

I guess it's easier not to expect so much from someone, then to have a huge dissapointment at the end. ;(
I will not make that mistake again.

Yes, I do admit I have trust issues.
No, I wasn't born that way.

I wasn't born with a wall around my heart.
It's people who I trusted the most that made me loose faith in trust.

Again and again I wanted to proof that I was wrong,
that they were dependable,
that they will be there.

Yet again and again
they seem to proove me right.;(

It hurts.
To trust and believe someone so much,
only to be shattered to a million pieces.

Eventually, you're finally tired of lying to yourself.

Reality hits.

Wasted tears I've spent crying on sleepless nights.
Wasted hopes on people I once thought who would care.
Wasted time I spent thinking of illogical explanations on why they would abandon me.

Sure, sometimes I do have a glinter of hope that people will proof me wrong.
Yet days goes by, it seems to fade, perhaps even non-existant anymore.

At the end of it all, I guess, it's just me, myself and I. ;/

Lessons were learnt.
No one said it would be easy.

I have learnt to be tough.
I have learnt to stay strong.
I have learnt to stand alone.
I have learnt to be independent.

Still it hurts, badly. ;'(

Trust,
it's hard.

Then again, maybe it's just me.

Promtay Dinner

TGIF Pavilion @ Saturday, 5th Jan



Brain freeze.


Apparently news got around,
even the manager of TGIF knew what happened on New Year's
and refuse to serve me alcohol!!!?!@#?!


So ended up i had to share a virgin margarita with Mal.
Bengang, Hmph. X(



My huggable Elmo! *Loves*


I sapu-ed all the desserts.
Gah gah gah.
All had chocolate!!!! Yippie!



This was my fave - Mocha Mud Pie. *drools*
I want moreeeee!!!

The bill came up to RM714. O.o
Gluttons we are. XP
( Or maybe it's just me? 0;) )


Don't dare you mess with Mal or Amanda.
A can of whoop ass. Pfft.
Grrrr... Lol.



OMG! J.Co Donuts!!
Thanks Mal for feeding me two.
Sugaaaaaaar is goooooood. <3



The whole promtay committee. ;D

P.S. Food and service sucks at TGIF Pavilion.
Plus, the Mocha Mud Pie was waaay smaller
than what I had in TGIF's at Jln Sultan Ismail. >,<

Poke! Poke! Poke!

Dedicated to my beloved sister.
(who silently reads my blog cause she damn nosy XP)

I love you cause you let me poke you continuously.
You love me cause I am your sister.
OMG. I don't know what I just typed. O.o Lol. ;D

Anyway, it's my blog and I can say whatever I want.
*Nyahahaha*

Poke!! <3

P.S. People who utters a word of lameness/criticism/sarcasm
shall be challenged to a poke duel by me. >,<
So hush!

P.S.S. People who don't know me well will not understand
my nonsensical rantings thus please ignore this post.

Mal's Place

After tuition, we decided to crash Mal's place
for girl talks and a good laugh.



Working up an appetite. <3



When u're with camwhorers,
do what the camwhorers do. ;D



This is what happens when yr buddies are camwhorers. -_-
Someone please save me.


Cameo. ;)


We had heart to heart girl talks.
Thanks for being there for me y'all!
Listening to my nonsensical rants.

Eeleng - You deserve waaay better, you hot mama. XP
Mal - You're lucky to have him, so make sure u don't let him go! >,<

2008

New Years Resolution

1. I shall turn to a geek and study effing hard for SPM.

2. I shall (AT LEAST try) to let people in / trust people.

3. I shall wear more bras. LOL.

4. I shall be single for a year. (I hope.)

5. I shall extend my social circle of friends.

6. I shall (try VERY hard) to sleep less in class.

7. I shall be less of a glutton.

8. I shall hug people more.

9. I shall (TRY) to ponteng less.

10. I shall (TRY) to be less paranoid.

To A New Year, to a New Beginning. ;)